Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Various and Sundry

Howdy folks. I'm from Texas. We say "Howdy Folks". Nah, not really.

So, you know how people do dream analysis? I had a dream about a guitar last night. Figure that one out. I don't play the guitar. Ever.

Today was better than yesterday because I was able to actually TEACH CHILDREN IN THE CLASSROOM. Yahoo! Imagine that.

NOw, here is a deal: I knit. I'm not great, I'm still learning stitches to add to my repetoire, but I love it and I have made a bazillion headbands and hats. I am absolutely PETRIFIED to make something major like a sweater.

Now, I must pee. It's been great. But I have to go, now.

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Not Fit For Public View

Hello. How are ya? Good. Great. Good to hear. Me? Not so great. Yeah, see...I had to go to a "meeting" today for work and our "meetings" are really "rip the hell out of the employee" sessions for the people "in charge". It's tiring. Really, really tiring. I did not take one single Xanax all day. I kick serious ass. We actually got told that we couldn't go OUT to lunch because we didn't look good enough for the public to see us. Seriously. Coupla problems with that. Number one: Shut up. You are an asshole.(the person who made the comment about going out in public.) Number two: Look in a mirror lately, asshat? Seriously. Get your money back from your dentist. For real. Number three: I'm not positive, but I'm PRETTY sure you can't keep me in a building or anywhere really against my will simply because you are an egomaniacal dipshit. Maybe I'm wrong, but I don't think so. If I am, please forward me the law or article or whatever that says I can be held against my will in my place of employment because a person who also works there is a sphincter. I'd appreciate it.

My neck hurts. My shoulder hurts. My head hurts. PLUS, on my WORST day, I look a million times better than that anal fissure has ever looked in their entire lifetime.

Yes, I'm complaining. I'm bitching. I'm allowed to do that. IT'S AMERICA, PEOPLE! I wanted to stand on the table and shout that today, but decided to not follow all of my urges immediately. It probably saved me from going to jail, but who's to say? Certainly not me. After all, I'm a lazy, not fit for public view, ass sitting individual who doesn't deserve to live. At least that is the message I got today.
If anyone wants to come work with me, let me know. I'll try and hook you up. I anticipate many openings after this Spring. Even though we were given Nostradamus-like predictions about gas prices and the economy,(it's bad...did you know that? I was ASTONISHED to learn this piece of news!), I think a lot of people are going to say "eff this crap" and look for greener pastures. Hell, browner pastures....ANY PASTURE would be better.

Sorry if I caused anyone to feel down. Life's a bitch. Suck it up. Come work with me and then try and not feel this way. I gotta go get some pharmaceuticals, now.
Love ya!