Saturday, February 21, 2009

Best ever

My nephew said something this week that got him in big trouble in school. He is in 3rd grade, and occasionally has to be verbally reprimanded by his teachers, or even his father; who is my brother. The deal is that my nephew suffers no fools gladly. He never has. He is a unique little guy. I laughed hard when told what he said, and I am a teacher. I am supposed to be the one being stern and teaching the child respect, right?

I couldn't have done it if faced with my nephew's statement. He got to school one morning last week, and the teacher who was no doubt trying to be chipper and upbeat trilled, "Good morning, boys and girls! Did everyone bring their thinking caps today?" I can think of about 100 smart assed responses to that. None of them acceptable to a teacher. Evidently, so can my nephew. His deadpan response was, "Nope. I left mine at home." Well, hell YES he said that! Who wouldn't? He is a smart, interesting kid! As a teacher, I've learned a very valuable lesson: NEVER EVER EVER ASK A QUESTION OF YOUR STUDENTS THAT YOU ARE NOT 100% SURE OF THE ANSWER FROM ALL STUDENTS. You never know what one is going to say.

Example: Not long ago, one of my students was industriously flipping through the pages of the dictionary. Then she would switch to a Thesaurus, wildly flip through the pages, then back to the dictionary. This is wonderful! A child so thirsty for knowledge that they are looking up things, then looking up the words in the Thesaurus to learn new and interesting ways to say these things! I quietly walked up to the student and said, "Whatcha looking up?" She sighed, looked up at me and asked VERY LOUDLY, "What's a 'Whore of Babylon'?" I stood there and said nothing. I had no reply. I mean, "whore" isn't the easiest word to look up in a dictionary if you aren't sure of the spelling. It isn't spelled phonetically. She was trying to hard to find "whore" the "H" section. What am I supposed to do, correct her spelling of "whore" so she can more readily find the definition? And Babylon? Holy crap. Where did this come from? She told me, "My Daddy said my Mama is a Whore of Babylon." The class was very silent as they all watched me to see what my answer, reaction and general tone would be. I said, "Well, I think Babylon is now Iraq." She scoffed and said, "My Mama isn't in IRAQ!" Indeed. Well. Clearly her father was mistaken as to the location of her mother. I flipped her dictionary to the "wh" section and allowed her to go about her business. I realized she had found it when I heard he say: "OOOOOHHHHHH...ok."

Another child told me he could see another student sitting outside the gym "hesitating". As in, "Hey, there's Billy Bob hesitating outside!". I went over to the window and saw a kid sitting on the PE blacktop in the lotus position. He was evidently in trouble and "sitting out" PE, and so he decided to make like Buddha. I said, 'He's MEDITATING, not HESITATING!"

Monday, February 2, 2009

10 Things I Love

10. Mac cosmetics
9. Phyto hair products
8. Fried Mac and Cheese
7. Homemade biscuits
6. My brilliant kids
5. My crazy husband
4. My crazy dogs
3. My career
2. My Iphone
1. Reading

This list is in no particular order. I do not love books more than say...my husband...today, anyhow.

Here is what I've been listening too obsessively in the car lately:

5. The Black Crowes -Shake Your Money Maker
4. Some mix I made
3. House of Pain
2. Best of the Doors
1. I have been listening to this nonstop...Sublime-Sublime

I adore Sublime. I don't care what sort of language they use or whatever. I adore them. Too bad Brad Nowell is gone. Always the musical geniuses for some reason.

School is driving me insane. More than usual, that is.

My observations tonight:
1. I need a pedicure....desperately
2. My roots need doing.
3. My calf muscles get charley horses everynight.
4. My left eye is WAY weaker than my right eye, and it droops when I'm tired.


Oh hell, listen...I don't have much to say. Deal with it.