Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Update and Useless Nonsense

Hello. I really have nothing Earth shattering to write about. I guess that's why I haven't written much lately. Part of the problem is that I've been re-reading a lot of Hemingway and that makes anyone feel like a hack. He was a perfect writer. Not one single word was wasted or not needed.

I'm currently on break from my job for two glorious weeks. It always takes me about two days of "decompression" to get back to the land of the living when I have a break. I am depressed, sleep a lot, unable to do anything, don't care about anything...the only thing I can figure is that my body and mind is quite literally starting to settle down. Then it all starts back up again. Awesome.

Another Christmas has come and gone and thank God for that. I really am not a lover of Christmas. It's so much gratuitous spending and buying things because you don't want to feel guilty. I really hate it. All the worrying and thinking and scheming to purchase the perfect gift for someone and then they rip the wrapping paper off, and .....nothing. It's finished. Big deal.

I think everyone appears a little disappointed when they open their presents, too. I don't know why. Same with birthdays. It's like we expect people to really put a ton of thought into US and what WE love and what WE would like, and then we get what...new mats for our car floorboard? Something stupid like that. It's a let down, I guess. I'm not saying I didn't receive lovely gifts, because I did. It's just the attitude of everyone, I suppose. Including my own attitude.

What do I expect people to give me? A personal jet? Unlimited funds to go anywhere and buy anything I want? More time? Less time? A time machine so I can go back and relive my children's infancy and toddler hood and smell their baby smell and hear their funny babble as they learn to talk? Actually, that would be a PERFECT gift. There would be a problem, though. I would spend all my time in my time machine watching my children when they were little, then I'd miss everything going on now. See? It's a no-win situation.

Not to mention that I'm not Christian and don't celebrate the religious meaning of Christmas. I'm one of those many people who do the secular thing where you put up a tree, decorate it, buy presents, open presents and eat turkey, while never once thinking of the "true" meaning of Christmas. I don't really feel like a hypocrite for it, mainly because we've been doing it my whole life. However, I think even for truly devout Christians there has to be some sort of disgust at how commercialized and secular the holiday has become. Not to mention that most Biblical scholars believe Jesus was born in the spring sometime. Anyhow, I suppose that isn't what matters to Christians. I could live a perfectly happy life with no more Christmas in my home or life. My kids would miss it, and my Mom would go ballistic, but me? I could gladly forgo it and never look back.

The year is almost over, and 2012 is hovering around the corner ready to pounce on us like a lion on a gazelle. Who knows how the year will be? I hope nobody else I love is taken from me this year. It seems someone I love dies every year lately. Perhaps that's because I'm getting older, or maybe it's just bad luck. At any rate, I'd like a good year with no sickness, no death, nothing bad.

One good thing, is that where I live, many families have been reunited because the Army has been bringing home troops from Iraq. A huge majority of our community now has the one thing they wanted. For that, I'm grateful. Unfortunately, a large part of our community still has loved ones in Afghanistan. Here's hoping they come home very soon, too.

Sorry there wasn't any humor in this. That's the way it goes. Mazel Tov and have a great 2012.