Sunday, October 19, 2014

Gloom, despair, and agony on me.

Hey people. I was going to close this damned blog but realized it had become a sort of journal for me, and I was recently told my my shrink to keep a journal so..yeah.

I haven't really seen anything weird, unusual or funny lately. Boring. I got a new car. Big deal. (It's pretty sweet, though.)

My oldest child doesn't live here anymore. He moved to another town to finish college. Problem is this: he did like 3 years of studies for becoming a paleontologist. Then one day he said, "You know, I think I am changing my major to Art." ._. That was my face, but shocked. I said nothing...then I began babbling, "But, but...you've ALWAYS wanted to be a paleontologist! What do you mean ART? What will you do with an ART degree for God's sake! They are called 'Starving Artists" for a damned reason! I have to pay for ART???? Holy shit." I was swirling in a whirlwind of disbelief, a bit of anger, (a tiny bit) and outrage at the amount of money this was going to cost. Everyone told me to let him be him and follow his dreams...blah blah...I said ok. He is now currently STILL following his dream of being in a dorm room and playing video games all night. His art is good, though. Very interesting. He is definitely more of a Salvador Dali type artist than anything else. Hey. I just looked over where I keep the painting of Lavender he did for me, AND IT'S NOT THERE!!! Dammit! It must have fallen when I careened into the dresser in the middle of the night. Now I have to find it. Now. Be right back.
Ok, with the help of Emperor Wallace, I got the dresser pulled out and retrieved my painting. There is an electrical plug back there, too. I can plug my new Scentsy back there. I use them with water and essential oils.

OMG. I was looking for a book in the living room last night, and I had to get on a ladder to look at the top shelves..(It's a behemoth of a built in that I designed several years ago...wall to wall floor to ceiling..still not enough room). Anyhow, I found all sorts of other stuff I had forgotten about. I found the book I was looking for, but I found other things that made me squeal.

Ok. If you are my age, and liked the Dallas Cowboys in the 70s and early 80s, you know who Cliff Harris and Charlie Waters are. I had a poster of Charlie Waters on my bedroom wall for YEARS. I would stare at his bare chest and his head or face or whatever and I was 100% positive that I would marry him. It didn't matter that I was 14 and he was old enough to retire from pro football soon. He was going to be mine. Forever. In our big mansion in Dallas. He would always wear that shirt unbuttoned and those jeans and hold a cowboy hat over his cash and prizes. Or maybe a football...either way. He would basically be there for me to stare at.

So...fast forward about 30 years and I am at the Texas Book thingie in Austin at the Capitol. I see a tent with a TON of old ladies snaking out of it. We walked past and looked inside and sitting there signing books were....CHARLIE FREAKING WATERS AND CLIFF WHO THINKS I DID SOMETHING WITH HIM HARRIS!!!! I grabbed my Mom and couldn't even speak. I just pointed. She became all flustered, too. Although her true Cowboy love was Bob Lily. She still peed her pants when Cliff Harris came over. ANYhow. I just strode right in through the side of the tent, and my mom followed me. I said, "Excuse me..." to all the old ladies who were shooting me looks like they wanted to beat me with with their canes and walkers and Werther's candies..and I walked up to the table with the two luscious hunks. I said, "Um, hi...you may not rememb.." and Cliff Harris said, "HELEN! How are you???" and I pretty much looked at the old ladies and threw them the finger, only I didn't do that, because I am a freakin' lady.

SO...I said hey and all that. I was speaking with Cliff but was staring in a freakish way at Charlie Waters. He finally evidently felt that freaky feeling you have when someone is staring intently at you. He looked over at me, and Cliff said, "Hey Charlie...she had your poster...she told me about it at Clayton William's party that night." I was thinking, "I did?" "Where? What??" And my Mother stood glaring at me in a very accusatory fashion. I did't give two shits at that point, I just smiled and batted my old eyelashes at him. He smiled and I almost seriously swooned. Now I know what that feels like. First off, I was surprised he A. Remembered me, and B. Remembered my name. Still, all I could think was.."charlie waaaaters...charliee....waaaaaters...come to me....marry meeeee..." and then I remembered Cliff Harris' ass. It was...how should I put this? It was...unstoppable. Much as it was when he was on the Cowboys. They were close friends then and I guess they had remained that way all these years. So, they had co-written a book about the Doomsday Defense and I had no real interest in it, but they FREAKING GAVE ME ONE. Then, Charlie said, "Let me have that..." and he turned to the page with a picture of that wondrous poster and wrote, "Helen...LOVE!" and his name. Most people wouldn't give a rip, but I almost licked that man's face. Cliff signed, it too. They both signed the inside cover. Then, Cliff reached under the table and produced this big photograph of the two of them playing football. Evidently, they have a website where you have to buy it. He gave it to my Love Charlie an Charlie signed it, and then Cliff wrote, and I shit you not, he wrote, "Helen, thanks for the night in Alpine, you helped me change my life Love, Cliff". I was very confused. My Mom was pinching the back of my arm spitting through gritted teeth, "WHAT DOES HE MEAN THAT NIGHT IN ALPINE!!!" I said, "Okay, it was great seeing you!" and I once again tried my Jedi mind trick on Charlie, which must have been off that day.

Well, I found all that shit last night. And I stared at all of the pictures in the book and found the one Charlie had written "love" in ALL CAPS, PEOPLE. I almost wept. Then, I found the photograph that they had both signed but Cliff let that little bit slip.... and I didn't give a shit. I called my Mom and told her what I had found.

here is some dumb article I found. It just sort of tells a little about them. And here is a video of my beloved in action: And here is a good picture of the man I love and still think I'll marry someday. (Even though I am happily married and I'm sure he is, too.)

So...yeah. I enjoyed that little bit of a walk down memory lane. Plus, Scott Laidlaw was a good friend of my Grandpa Gator and we got their Christmas cards every year. The serious ones, and then the funny ones. And to think...Charlie was in all of those. Oh, and Cliff, too. Captain Crash is what they called him. I just said "Hey, Cliff.." and it was off to the races.