Sunday, November 23, 2008

Yes, another Blog. So sue me.

Name: Dear

Sex: *sigh* if I must.

Occupation: Do-it-all; know-it-all; frustrated writer; makeup junkie, and sometimes do-gooder.

Age: Below 50. Close enough.

Interests: Writing; Makeup; Skin care and body products; GOOD perfume, not crappe from the drugstore; essential oils, aromatherapy, massage, accupressure, anything involving scraping earwax out of ears(fascinating! Google it sometime! No! Go to YouTube and look it up...)Oh, and reading. Copiously. My family. Well, they interest me, but mostly the perplex me.

Favorite scent: Hermes Terre or Hermes Jardin du le Nil. Yes, I know Terre is a men's fragrance, I do not care.

Favorite makeup: Well, not picky. Actually, yes. I'm very picky, but there is a LOT of makeup out there, so luckily, I can find plenty to satisfy my picky, uppity tastes.

Current favorite single makeup product: Fiberwig mascara.

Kids: 3. Both genders. Obviously, one gender is duplicated. 2 of them: teenagers. One is a "preteen" as he is fond of reminding me. All 3: brilliant and gorgeous. They would all benefit from a daily spanking as a preventative measure.

Husband: 1. Status: insane, cro-magnon. He is where I got my name "Dear". I don't think he actually knows my real name. Sorta like that Seinfeld episode where he knew his new girlfriend's name rhymed with a part of the female anatomy, but he couldn't remember what. He called her "Mulva" among other things, until he finally slapped his head and hollered: "Delores!" One of my favorite episodes ever.

Dogs: 3. Two of whom get crap encrusted on their butt fur on a disturbingly regular basis, making it necessary to take them to the groomer's often. Yesterday, husband scrubbed one dog's butt with Clorox Clean up Wipes. I was appalled. And nauseated. Today, dog is freshly groomed and will be lovely for approximately 12 hours. Then she will again be a tiny frisky filth magnet.

Extended family: Lord help me, yes. Mother, Father, Brother, Niece and Nephew. My parents are married, but after 40 something years of marriage have decided they will no longer live together. I am now a 42 year old child from a broken family. My niece and nephew rock my world. My brother is younger than I am and he is a big, fat, dumb, dork. Other people seem to respect him and hold him in high esteem. I find him to be an annoying dork. I am fairly certain he reciprocates that feeling. For which he should be beaten down.

Origins of family: Deep South. We talk slow. We are suspicious of fast talkers. However, my Mom is a loud talker and so is one of my sons. They are the loudest damned people I've ever known in my life. We may talk slow, but we are fairly intelligent beings. (Except for my husband, Sanford. He is from "California". That odd place full of crazy perverts as my Mom says.) As Southerners, we are insanely wrapped up in College Football. Our team: The Florida Gators. If you do not like them, please do not inform me of this, as I will become irrationally angry and upset. Keep the peace, people. Our ties to the team run deep and we take it all very personally. Is that rational? Hell, no. College football is not rational, people. Oh, my Dad's team is the Texas Longhorns. Yet another team I get mildly irrational about.
One of my grandfathers was an actual cowboy for a living and my grandmother cooked on the chuckwagon. I am not even shitting you. That's how close to the "good old days" we are. Somehow, I don't think makeup was high on her list of priorities. *le sigh*

Okay, so obviously, I like stuff. I don't care what people think about that. I generally don't care what people think at all. I like NICE stuff. I don't buy cheap purses or shoes and I never wear fake jewelry. That is, no fake stones. I don't think anyone wears imaginary jewelry, but you never know. I buy nice clothes, and I have a nice automobile. I will not apologize. As a matter of fact, I'll share my experiences and knowledge with you. Lucky you. I buy expensive makeup and skincare products. I don't care what you think. I use the good stuff. Does it make a difference? I will think so because I don't know. I haven't tried the cheap assed stuff at the drugstore. But, I HAVE smelled some of the nightcreams. LORD HAVE MERCY, how does anyone use cream with all that horrid perfume in it? Seriously. That's a no-no. I buy expensive as hell candles. I should be ashamed, however, I am not. I am defiant.

I shall review my myriad purchases, both secret and not. If you like what you read, feel free email me. If you want me to try something, let me know. I've read multitudes of other "beauty blogs" and some have some pretty good writing in addition to informative reviews. I hope this will be one of them. I'd like to inform and entertain at the same time. Sort of like the old Ronco commercials. "Hey good lookin', we'll be back to pick you up later!"

And with that, I shall begin this endeavor.

3 comments:

Momma of Three said...

Just passing by as a fellow SITS girl and Lady Blogger Society!

Have a fabulous day!

Nan said...

Stopping by to say Hi!.

I'm your newest follower.if you have a chance please follow back.

Thank you for share nice blog I like your post :-),

I just post about rice cooker, would be nice to get comment from you, Thanks in advance.

http://beonefineday.blogspot.com
Have a nice day.

Nan

FranticMommy said...

"Sex: *sigh* if I must." Ha! That is AWESOME! Poppping by from Mimi's!