Question and answers. AGAIN?!

Hey my mammals,

I have inexplicably had some readers of this blog(which I thought pretty much nobody ever read) ask me questions once more.
I will just dive in. I swear....this is weird.

1. Joseph from someplace in Canada (I could check...but it's Canada..) "How old are you?" I am 48 years old. I hate that. I look in the mirror and think, "WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED!"

2. A. in South Carolina: "Why don't you ever say your husband's real name?" Well, I really never thought about it. He is a man of many names. Some include: "Sanford"; "Wallsterham Lincoln"; "The Ice Man" (HAHAHAHAHAHA..it was his "street name when he was a cop.) "Emperor"; "Emperor Wallace" and various words that just describe him.

3. Don in Washington state: "Why did you stop writing for awhile?" Well that's just really none of your business. No offense. Actually, have you ever had anything nice after the phrase, "No offense, but..." Nothing good comes from that.

4. R. in Slovenia or Slovakia...some "slo" place. (How the hell does that even work?) How many children do you have?
Had you read the last couple of posts, you would know the answer to that. I don't repeat. Because it is a pain. But okay, I have two grown boys.


5. F in some town in Wisconsin(I actually think I know who this is..) What words to you hate to hear?
This is EASY. Let's get started:
1. Panty or panties. It's a disgusting word.
2. Any words that has a lot of "s" or "l" together. It trips me up every time. Actually, that happens with "ch", too.
3. fish
4. hot
5. pork
6. words with the letter/u/ that make an "oo" sounds. Irritating.
7.Khalissi...please. Really?
8. I guess that's all I can think of.

6. R in freakin' Vermont? Okay, whatever. "Why are you so negative?" Well, asshat, (see there, you made me break my New Year's resolution. Shame on you.) I suppose I come across as negative because, I pretty much think that these days, the good, decent humans are outnumbered by idiots who mean to cause harm. I am tired of hearing about politics, gun rights, I hated the commercial with some lady singing and animals freezing and shaking. People do that to innocent animals, and I barely stand to live with that knowledge. People kill their own children, even BABIES. There is no punishment that is just. Of course, they plead insanity, get put away and find Jesus and a bunch of nut jobs take up this idiot's case and stand around on the night the asshole takes his or her last walk and they have stupid assed candlelight vigils, and women have adolescent crushes on mass murderers. I don't get that at all. I mean, all of that is pretty negative. That's all you see on the news. Brings a person down, man.

7. F in New Mexico: What is your "type" in a man. Hmmm...very shady there, "F". But who cares, so I will tell you. The person must be male and human. I prefer tall guys and guys with dark hair. I have always been attracted to Latin American men. Its a weakness. I mean, the guys doesn't have to be latin american, just you know, the more swarthy type. (My Grandma called them "swarthy") Actually, just tall and dark and handsome. Cliche' but..you gotta go with it sometimes.
I have never really been attracted to blonde guys or really pale guys. I gotta have a little bit of color. I like eyes. Just you know, nice eyes. I hate it when people with brown eyes wear contacts to give themselves lighter colored eyes. It's just so obvious. And ugly. I am always attracted to extremely smart men, and funny men. If the man likes puppies and babies, I figure he's a pretty good catch now a days. Ohhhh so many men...how stupid I was in my youth.


8.M in Texas: Why don't you do the product reviews of makeup and stuff? Do you have a vlog? Me: Do I have a WHAT? That sounds nastaay. I haven't been doing the reviews because I have been using natural things, like coconut oil, more sunscreen, less facial makeup...you know...It's even tiring thinking about all the things I have to do...use it for awhile, take pictures of before and after, all that crap.

Well, that's all I'm doing tonight. I am going to start Krav Maga to help me keep my strength and endurance while I can't run. I already do Yoga every night...Maybe Krav Maga will beat the hell out of my body so
that it will throw fat off of itself.

Oh, Y'all! I almost forgot. I feel like a pretty wise person, (actually, I'm pretty much a moron..) so I am going to give helpful little nuggets of my wisdom.

TODAY'S WORDS OF WISDOM? GO GET A COLONOSCOPY. NOW.