What Would YOU do?

So, let's say you are married to this man who is insane, right? This man thinks YOU should be able to do ANYTHING. This includes working, cooking, cleaning, child rearing, mind reading, space/time travel, telepathy, bringing dead pets back from the dead, fix any computer even if there is NOTHING wrong with it, make a cell phone work without a SIM card, send smoke signals to contact him, always magically know his whereabouts, fashion a timekeeping instrument like a Sundial that will fit on his wrist, never need winding, have Atomic clock capabilities...I can go on. I'll spare you, though.

I am married to this man. Everyone thinks he is the calmest, sweetest thing ever. Why, he would NEVER raise his voice! He would NEVER say anything mean! He is like a little puppy dog! Yeah, a puppy dog that is really a Hound from Hell that you just took a chew toy away from.

I even video taped him throwing a fit yesterday because he couldn't figure out how to upload pictures to his Facebook page. I scanned them in for him, emailed them to him and then he went berserk. I finally told him I wouldn't deal with him if he was going to cuss, scream and threaten me. So, he decides to call some company off the internet and pay them to tell him how to UPLOAD PICTURES TO HIS FACEBOOK PAGE. Dude. I figured it out alone. Children figure it out alone. Really old people figure it out alone. Some people have pets that have evidently figured it out alone. My husband? No. I told him if he called those jackholes and paid them to tell him how to upload pictures to effin' Facebook, that I would go shopping and I can spend WAY better than he can. Plus, can you imagine the person who would answer his call? They would have a great story to tell for a long time, but really? Calling a place NOT affiliated with Facebook and PAYING them to walk you through the steps that basically a wombat could figure out on their own? I swear. Honestly.

Plus, there are HUGE budget cuts going on in the place I work, and everybody is wigging out about their jobs. Including me. Should I wig out? Should I not? I don't know, but everyone else is, so I figured I better join in. Otherwise, I might get blindsided and never see a lay off coming.

PLUS, I am tired.
Plus, I am going through menopause.
PLUS, I am married to an insane person.
PLUS, I have two teenage sons who God help them probably don't know their address, even though we taught it to them when they were little.
PLUS, insanity runs in my family. OBVIOUSLY.
PLUS, my back hurts.
I am sure I could think of more, but I think I'm finished bitching for now. If you need Xanax, I am sorry. I need it, too. I think I will go get some. I advise the whole world to do the same.