Tuesday, April 12, 2011

CRAZY ASSED NAME UPDATE:

People. Okay. I'm trying to be calm, but last night on the news, some dude named "LYSANDER" was interviewed after a drive by shooting or something.
If you are going to name your child after a character in a play by Shakespeare, look it up, for the love! Lysander wasn't even a major character or even all that interesting in "A Midsummer Night's Dream". Seriously. Neither was Demetrius.

Oh, and I almost forgot: going with Biblical names is popular and I did it myself with one of my kids, however....be careful. Please. Check out who it was before you hang the moniker around your offspring's neck. Don't name your kid "Job". Coupla reasons. Number one: People will mispronounce it forever. They will think it's pronounced like the place you go to earn a living. "Hey, Job! How ya doin?" Only they will say "Job" like, "I have a job at Walmart". Not good. Plus, Job wasn't the happiest of dudes. Faithful, yes. Lucky? Not so much and very sad. Terrible luck, that Job dude.
David is a favorite. I approve of David even if he was a bit of a perv. Come on...who isn't?
Where I live there are a TON of guys named Jesus. Pronounced the Spanish way. Not the English way. I've never met anyone who pronounces it the English way as in "Jesus Christ! What the hell are you doing???" Never. No Jehovahs, either. Thankfully.
Mary and Joseph are good. I guess. Actually, yes. They are great. They are easy, and just good old fashioned names. They seemed like pretty good people in the Bible, if you look past the whole "immaculate conception" deal with Mary, that is. I think Joseph was a pretty damned patient guy.
Noah is a name I considered for my second son, but was vetoed by my then husband. I don't know why. Maybe because he found out Noah was actually a bit of a perv himself and IN THE BIBLE it tells you that he went into his son's tent naked, and then it gets a bit vague but makes it quite clear that his other sons drug him outta there and gave him an ass whuppin'. Savior of humanity during the flood or perv? I don't know. Could be both, I guess.
Matthew, Mark, Luke, Peter, Paul and John are all fine. Not that I believe their writings or beliefs, but nice, normal, easy to spell, easy to pronounce names.

DON'T NAME YOUR CHILD AFTER SOMETHING YOU HEAR THE NURSE OR OB/GYN SAY IN THE DELIVERY ROOM, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, PLEASE DON'T!!!
I have seen: "Placenta", "Placentia" and various other horrific things.

How about this one: this is an actual child that I know of here where I live. And before you ask, NO, I'm NOT shitting you.
Get ready. Here it is:

SHITHEAD. Yep. Shithead. Pronounced, "Shuh-theed" My ass. That kid's name is Shithead. Imagine that on an interview. The only way it could be worse would be if the poor child's last name was "Dumas". It probably is, too.

No comments: