Tuesday, July 17, 2012

We had friends over a few nights ago. This is important because we NEVER have friends over. Family, yes...if shamed into it. I don't like to host. I like to be a guest. Anyhow, we had some friends over to play Beer Pong. Yeah, I'm in my forties and my husband is in his fifties...so what?

So, we played a couple of rounds, and our 20 something year old friends beat the crap out of us. Who cares? It was fun. So, we sat and talked, and then I asked the guy if he had ever tried Absinthe. He said no and was under the impression that it was illegal. Little known fact: It has been legal for a few years, now. I poured him some, couldn't find my Absinthe spoon, so just threw a bunch of sugar in and stirred it. He downed it. It was a full wine glass, because I don't know where my Absinthe glass, is , either. This occurred two more times. He went from normal to absolutely shit faced in literally five minutes. I am told there are incriminating videos.

Of course, you know that people who are drunk fall into several categories. You have your belligerent drunks, you have your crying drunks, and you have your happy drunks. He is a happy drunk. He likes to kiss everyone when drunk. He professes undying love when drunk. He is a really good guy and I am sorry he got so hammered that he passed out in his front yard. However, a good time was had by all. Oh, he went into one of my son's room and tried to have a staring contest. The randomness of his behavior was hysterical and we need to do it again.

Problem: I forgot to add water to his drink. He downed 110 proof Absinthe with no water at all. Three wine glasses. We are thanking God he is alive.

I have nothing to add. I have writer's block, and it's a bitch. I'm just trying to write anything. I have literally been taught to do this when I have block: "I can't think of anything to write. I can't think of anything to write. I can't think of anything to write" and eventually something else will pop up. Well, I'm here to tell you that that is a damned lie.

My hair stylist wants me and my family to be a reality tv show. Yeah, us yelling at the dogs and kids would be riveting. Me saying, "I'm going to bed" at 8 would keep people glued to their TVs."

Lessons learned? Don't expect to win Beer Pong with young people. Bud Light is nasty. Absinthe is worse. Running your hand down my face and whispering "sssshhhh" will not shut me up.

1 comment:

JessTuttle said...

The best part was him waking up at 6:30, coming into the room and saying "WHY DID YOU MAKE ME SLEEP IN THE CLOSET!?"

I didn't. He crawled in there on his own and I left him.