47 Things.

Here are some(my age) things about me. They may not surprise you and will probably bore you.

1. I'm short.
2. I'm a very picky eater.
3. I could read Jane Austen all day long.
4. I am in real true love with Mr. Darcy. And Jack Bauer. And Ryan Gosling. Actually, I have a horrible problem with men. (Only men I have no chance with or who are imaginary.)
5. I still think I have a shot at being an Olympic figure skater although I've only skated on ice once and ended up badly bruised.
6. I have one brother. Thank God.
7. I have no sisters. Thank God.
8. I have been married for over 20 years.
9. Not to the same man, just..you know...continuously.
10. I take no bullshit.
11. I'm not easily intimidated.
12. I think I'm pretty damned smart.
13. I'm fairly well-read.
14. I'm a damned fine teacher.
15. I cannot tolerate insincerity.
16. Ditto for lying.
17. Ditto for hypochondriacs.
18. Ditto for hypocrites.
19. I have a low tolerance level for lots of things.
20. I have met many famous people, had many famous people buy me alcohol, sang with famous people on stage, (badly) and even dated one, but I am not, myself, famous.
21. I think I would make a kick ass spy. Or ninja. Or pirate.
22. I have a foul mouth. It's a bad habit, I know.
23. I have been arrested in Mexico. Allegedly.
24. I have never been arrested anywhere else.
25. I trust almost nobody. Period. Flaw? I don't think so. Smart? Undoubtedly.
26. I have ridden a mechanical bull, and I did it with flair and skill.
27. I can no longer tolerate even the smell of tequila. Or Brandy. Or Cognac. Or Orange Juice.
28. When I was pregnant and certain foods made me sick, I couldn't stop imagining them and then getting sick because I was imagining them. It was horrible. I would put the can of tomato soup WAAAY in the back of the cabinet and when I opened the cabinet the first thing I thought was, "Oh my God, that disgusting tomato soup is back there..." then I would retch.
29. I take things very literally. If you tell me you flew a flag OVER something, I assume you placed the flag in an airplane and FLEW IT OVER the place. I can't help it.
30. I'm blonde.
31. I can parallel park the SHIT out of any vehicle.
32. I have nightmares about falling off of windmills.
33. I have no bones in my left pinky toe.
34. I can(and did)have an 11 pound baby naturally, bitches.
35. I think Lamaze is the stupidest shit ever invented.
36. Next to Zumba, that is.
37. I'm a pretty good shot. You know, with a gun and all that.
38. I will kill someone if they come in my house or threaten me or my loved ones. I don't stop and ask questions. Bang. You're dead.
39. I was afraid Jaws was in my bathtub when I was little.
40. I am an insomniac.
41. I have multiple mental disorders which have been diagnosed. I cope. I take meds. Don't tell me you have an anger problem. I'll rip your face off.
42. I wish I wasn't as old as this, because I am out of shit to say.
43. I can tell you what year any song came out in my lifetime. Well, in my lifetime after I was about 7 or 8.
44. I'm pretty good with trivial information.
45. I have had several car accidents. One bad one. My fault.
46. My eyes burn like...ALL.THE.TIME.
47. Whew. Finally. Ummm....I'm not 50. AND, I'm not dead.
Waaalaa...there ya go.