59 Things

This is 59 things about my husband.

1. He is 59
2. He remembers Kennedy being assassinated. I wasn't even born. Hah.
3. He went to Berkeley yet wasn't a hippie.
4. He was an officer in the US Army.
5. He was a police officer for 25 years.
6. He loves dogs.
7. Like, really REALLY loves dogs.
8. He does nothing but post stupid crap on his Facebook all day long while I work my ass off.
9. He is kind to animals.
10. He never says "I'm sorry".
11. He never admits he is wrong.
12. He is not good with gift giving. He is getting better, though. Or maybe I'm better at just getting what I want on my own.
13. He has a soft heart.
14. He is an only child.
15. He is deaf as a door post.
16. He has a HORRIBLE TEMPER.
17. He is very different.
18. He can quote any Texas state law. Weird.
19. He is not religious.
20. Yet he agrees with the right wing Tea Party nut jobs.
21. He considers putting a load of laundry UNSORTED AND ON THE WRONG SETTING into the washer as a day's work.
22. He is hysterically funny.
23. He is brilliant.
24. He believes in aliens. Not illegal aliens. Just..space aliens.
25. He thinks we are aliens.
26. He watches the news every single night without fail. National and local. Twice.
27. He is the biggest miser you ever met in your life.
28. He has an irrational fear of having no money.
29. He bought a house with cash when he was in his 20s.
30. He built a house with cash in his 30s.
31. He has a lovely wife.
32. He created a gorgeous, brilliant daughter.
33. He pisses me off really, really badly a lot.
34. But he makes me laugh even more.
35. He is who I want to be with for the rest of my life.
36. He claims to be on a diet but eats all day long.
37. He thinks "walking" the dogs down the block as they run in circles and bark to be "exercise".
38. This is getting difficult....59 is old.
39. He is 100% wrong politically.
40. Deep down inside he must know this.
41. He is a gun fanatic.
42. He is an AMAZING shot. I mean...creepily good.
43. He checks our fund balances and bank balance and credit card (1) HOURLY.
44. He uses a CPAP machine to sleep and looks like a Russian cosmonaut.
45. He is quite hairy.
46. He is an excellent father.
47. He has no spine with his children, though. They can walk all over him. Which is why God made mothers, I guess.
48. He supports me. NOT FINANCIALLY. I work my ass off.
49. He also does the financial, though.
50. He likes dogs way better than people.
51. He won't wear pants unless it's really cold.
52. Ditto for closed toe shoes.
53. We couldn't go to dinner on a cruise because he brought no pants. Only shorts.
54. He isn't a beach person.
55. He likes to find crap and keep it.
56. He loves dumpster diving.
57. He thinks he can fix and/or make anything. He is wrong.
58. He has huge eyebrows.
59. He is the love of my life.