Being Thankful

Hello! Tis me! So much has happened in the last few months that it's hard to remember it all.

On September 21st, it was Wally's birthday. We went to work. I texted him "Happy Birthday, do you want to go out tonight?" and I never got a response. Which isn't really odd for Wally. For some reason...some unknown reason, I had the ringer on my phone on. I was working with the kids, and it was about 10:30 or so. Maybe closer to 11:00. I heard my phone. I ran to my desk to pick it up. It was a strange woman.
Strange woman: Is this Mrs. Wally?
Me: I am Wally's wife, Helen, yes.
NOW I AM GETTING WORRIED.
Strange woman: Yes, well, I am (can't remember her name) and I work with Wally. He sort of fell out.
Me: Fell out? What does that mean? Is he okay? He has low blood sugar, give him a Coke or candy bar...just shove it in his mouth.
Strange woman: Okay...Okay, we did that and he is still acting weird.
Me: Weird how?
Strange woman: Well, some of the other employees said he was walking strangely, and then he came up to me to say something and he couldn't form the words and he was very weak and wobbly.
Hang on.

Phone changes hands.

By now, I'm frantic and running to a neighboring classroom to get someone to watch my class while I go to the office to tell them I have to leave. Now.

New person on phone (male): Um, ma'am?
Me: (frantically) YES?
Guy who turns out to be city police officer: Is this the same Mr. Freeman who is retired from KPD?
Me: yes, yes...why?
Cop: I thought it was him. I've got EMS on the way. He is refusing transport. Here, I'll let you talk to him.
Wally: absolutely unintelligible words that I couldn't even identify as English...
Me: (screaming while driving) WALLY! I'M ON MY WAY, I LOVE YOU! I AM ON MY WAY, DO WHAT THE COP SAYS! I WILL MEET YOU AT THE HOSPITAL!
Lady again: He is refusing to go. They are here but..
Me: PUT HIM ON THE DAMNED AMBULANCE NOW AND GET HIM TO THE HOSPITAL. I'LL MEET HIM THERE.
Lady: Well...ok...but I have him sitting in a chair here...
Me: PUT HIM ON THE DAMNED AMBULANCE NOW!!!

So, as I was driving like a striped assed ape down the highway, I was praying, I had my flashers on, I was crying and I was taking calls. All were from the cop and the paramedics. All were telling me he wanted to wait for me, and he wouldn't get on the ambulance. I got pissed and then the paramedic told me, "Ma'am, we REALLY need to get him to the hospital NOW." I told them to tie him down. They put Wally on the phone and I told him, "You are going now. I'll meet you there, you are getting in that ambulance!"

I continued on my way, (I was about 20 miles away..all open highway until I hit our city limits). When I exited, every single intersection was closed. There was a police car and an officer waving me through while all other cars sat and waited. I went through probably 8 intersections like that. I never had to stop. I was thinking that if they tried to stop me for speeding, they would have a high speed chase on their hands and it would end at the hospital. As I passed Wally's work, a police car pulled out behind me, then went around me on the right and sped up to the next intersection. They did the same thing. They did it on purpose, because one of their own was sick. They cleared the way for me to get to him. How can I thank them? It truly humbled me.

SO. I get to the hospital BEFORE THE STUPID AMBULANCE. Tyler met me there. I run into the ER and they tell me that he is just arriving so sit and hang on a few minutes. Not more than five minutes and they rushed me into a room where he was in a bed with vomit all over him and he was babbling. I got a tissue and ran up to him, kissed him, tried to talk to him, looked around and nobody was saying anything...I asked who everyone was and they were all nurses. I cleaned the vomit off of him. The nurse who was watching his vitals, (not checking...staring at the screen without looking away) finally told me another nurse would speak to me out in the hallway. A Dr. came in. This Dr. will never ever get paid by me, or anybody I am remotely related to because he was a complete incompetent.

At any rate, the Dr. talked to me outside, not the nurse. I asked, "Was this a stroke?" he said, "Oh yeah...yep." That was my answer. Then they said he was going for an MRI, a CT scan, all of that crap. We go back in and the awesome nurse was doing the stroke check that they did for 3 more days like every 10 minutes. When I got there, they only thing wrong was his speech. Even that seemed to improve a bit. His arms were both fine, both had the same grip...his mouth wasn't drooping. He said: "I have a headache." The nurse said, "A headache? On a scale of 1 - 10 how bad is the pain?" Wally said, "Ohhhh...a two". IT WAS A SECOND STROKE AND HE TOLD THEM IT WAS AT THE BASE OF HIS HEAD IN THE BACK WHICH WHERE THE STROKES WERE. So now, he has had two strokes, and NOW, he had no movement on his right side AT ALL. His mouth drooped and his speech was just....I mean you just had no clue what he was saying.

He did say he was going back to work the next day. Um. No. So, nobody told me he had a second stroke. I just sort of figured it out. I mentioned it to all of the millions of doctors we would see over the next month. Last week, I was vindicated. One of his specialists said, "You've never seen the MRI?" We hadn't. I told him the story of how he was when first in the ER. The Dr. said, "Yes, there were two strokes, let me show you." I wanted to shred someone. They had told us it was a very small area of his brain, maybe less than 2 millimeters. NO THEY LIED. It was much longer and a bit wider. Had it been any wider, he could have lost all involuntary things like breathing and heart function.

I demanded he be life flighted from the initial death hospital to a level 1 trauma hospital in the neighboring town. I beat them THERE, too. But, he did need to get there fast. When I went into the ICU, a dr. told me I couldn't see him yet. I saw a bunch of people behind the curtain in his room. It was all glass. One of the dr.'s saw how terrified I was, and he said, "Come here...look, he is in there, they are just getting him settled, and hooked up and evaluating him. I will come get you as soon as I can." He was a very kind soul. And he kept his word.

When I walked into Wally's ICU room, I was relieved, terrified, ...you name it. I couldn't show it, though. He didn't realize what had happened. Finally, I realized he was confused and I said, "Sweetie, do you know what happened?" He indicated that he didn't. I told him it was a stroke. He denied it,but he wasn't really "with it" at that point. Cognitively he has not regained the ability to not be impulsive and to realize how serious a situation is.

He tried to chop down a tree with a chainsaw the other day for the love. I even took pictures of him dragging a chainsaw. I was hollering at him the whole time. "I am showing this to the Dr. You are insane. You better put it down or I'll take your cane away!" He got mad at me, threw it down and used his cane to go inside. Thank GOD.

After about four days in ICU (where the poor thing got no water or anything by mouth for two days because he couldn't swallow), we were moved to the acute cardiac floor. It was supposed to be less restrictive, and it was to an extent. The chair bed was much more comfortable than the one in his room in ICU. I slept by his side the entire month and a half.
He wasn't hooked up to as many alarms and beeping contraptions as he had been. He couldn't get comfortable in his bed, though. He couldn't turn over on his own and he was hot, and couldn't sleep (I think he was afraid to go to sleep), and basically he was miserable. He did not get on his feet for over a month. I stayed and helped him and according to the nurse, I made their job much easier.

After another two or three weeks there, we were released to a rehab hospital in another town even further from home. He was taken there by ambulance. When I arrived, they were getting him settled. It was a nice facility and man, did we meet some characters. Their family sleeping arrangement wasn't comfortable, but I didn't care, because the second my head came within a foot of my pillow I was OUT. I slept through them coming in at night to check his vitals, I only woke up when he spoke for some reason. He improved vastly there. I was very grateful for that place and the wonderful people who helped my husband.

I became a world class thief there, too. Let's just say that "housekeeping" wasn't a very good word for that job and who did it. (Seriously...dude...the girl "cleaned" the sink with a wet washcloth. Dry toothpaste was in it. I found the cleaner and did it myself.) So, I snuck around and found where they kept all the towels, sheets, bath sheets, pillows, extra blankets..anything. I just went and got what we needed whenever we needed it. They only bathed the patients every other day according to room number. We were even number days. Uh, hell no. I bathed him daily and changed his sheets. All they did, was check his blood sugar, blood pressure, give him meds, and make him comfortable. It was the therapists that kicked ass. Without them, he would be unable to do anything. Pool therapy was amazing. He couldn't move even a finger, and after his first pool therapy session, he could move his pinky. Doesn't sound like much, but it was huge at that time.
We stayed there almost a month. It was hard on my son at home, and hard for me to have my clothes, FREAKING FOOD BECAUSE I WASN'T PAYING FIVE BUCKS FOR A TRAY. Everything was a bit harder being so far from home.

Now, our reality is different. I have taken a leave from work, and I only have about another month left. I am scared about how he will do. I currently dress him, bathe him, make all of his meals, make sure he takes his medicine, and I am pretty much his "live in nurse". I cannot hire a nurse because they won't love him like I do. He is getting better. His speech is pretty much fine, now. When he gets tired it gets slurred. If he is self conscious about it, he can't control the slurring. He wears a brace on his right leg that stabilizes it. He has a wheelchair, a walker, and we bought a cane. He no longer needs the wheelchair, but he is supposed to use the walker. Well to HELL WITH THAT, DAMMIT! I DON'T NEED THAT! Nope. He is using the cane. He is wobbly, but he is getting around. He cannot use his right arm or hand at all. We have a physical therapist and an occupational therapist who come three times a week and work with him. We are supposed to start out patient therapy soon, but I don't know what their evaluation was the other day. He has to be approved for it only if he is ready. His impulsivity might affect that. However, he is alive. He is waking up everyday. He uses his computer. He watches television, we go for walks, we go to places like Lowe's or the Home Depot because he loves them and we walk around until he gets tired. He reads. He eats, takes two huge handfuls of meds daily and goes to sleep. He is bored and gets cranky. THANK GOD.

On a happier note: my son had his first art exhibit and it went great! Our daughter has met a great guy who she is dating, and he is a state trooper. Our youngest will transfer to another school in the fall. I will have to continue to teach until I am dead, probably. I certainly have no sick days available, or state personal days. I had so many, I have been paid the whole time. I have to go back after the holidays, though. I am terrified. We will just have to get through it. We've come this far.

HELPFUL HINT: Be aware of signs of a stroke: FAST: F-facial drooping; A-arm weakness; S-speech difficulty; T-time to call EMS.