Monday, June 20, 2011

My day in HELL, otherwise known as the Killeen City Court Annex

So, yeah...I got a ticket. Big whoop. The cop wasn't what I'd call a sweetheart, either. He actually asked me how much I WEIGHED. I told him, "Well, I'm going to lie to you.." and he shrugged, so I said, "100 pounds". He wrote it on the ticket.

Anyhow, I of course, opted to take Defensive Driving online as it was the most convenient. The course almost killed me with boredom, but "easy" is not an apt name for it. It was stupid easy.

Example Question and answer choices: You are scanning the roadway 12 seconds ahead of you to watch out for possible problems. You are no less than 2 seconds behind the vehicle in front of you. You have been checking your mirrors, and you have a good cushion of safety around you. What should you do?
A. Continue driving, while using your safe driving strategies.
B. Apply lipstick in the visor mirror
C. Speed up.
D. Get out a map and check your route while driving.
I'm sorta surprised one of the choices wasn't, "Shoot off your nine millimeter out the window, as you light up your crack pipe! Fuck the cops!"

See? So, then I had to take the paperwork BACK to the City court annex for the oh....I don't know 50th time. You walk in and feel like you are in a jail waiting room. It's ..well...full of unsavory people. Of course, I was there, so I suppose I am just as unsavory. At any rate, you take a number, sit your ass down and wait. There are four windows available. Two of which had their blinds drawn indicating they didn't give a shit about the 40 people sitting there waiting, and we could suck it. They only needed a sign that said, "Suck it" to go along with their "No Cell phone" sign and their, "Do not approach window until called" and various other signs telling you what they will NOT do for you.
I took a number. I was number 6. Awesome! Wrong. They were on number 89. They had to get to 100, then start over. So I was WAAY far from being called. People usually leave because they get tired of waiting, but I had all the time in the world, so I waited. I swear every time one of the clerks looked at me, they hated my ass because I was patiently waiting. Plus, I was not using my cellphone or approaching windows without being called, I might add.
Unlike my fellow miscreants, I did not used foul language, as it is rude and I didn't know them and there were children present. I didn't compare my tattoos with the various people there who were, ACTUALLY doing that. Total strangers. I didn't talk about body piercing, either. I sat. I waited. Patiently. Well, my leg was bouncing, but that is just me. I watched one guy walk up to the window when his number was called, and less than 2 minutes later, a cop appeared, handcuffed him and took him away. I'm still all excited about that and want to know what the hell was going on!
There was a "Most Wanted" poster up on the all. Fine. We need to know what the criminals look like. However, one thing bothered me. As I was sitting there...patiently, mind you...a man and what appeared to be a female of our species came in. She was wearing her pajamas, and her hair had NOT been combed in a VERY long time. His boxers were a merry blackwatch plaid. We all got treated to that sight. Thank you, Mr. Anonymous Boxer Short man. What these two did is what creeped me out, though. They didn't take a number. At which point I almost stood up and hollered, "Nuh uh! You take a number, Asshole! We ALL took our numbers, you aren't special!", but then I checked myself. I could have been killed.

Anyhow, these two people walked up to the "Most Wanted" pictures, seemed to be searching, and then the guy said, "There he is!" and stabbed his finger really hard on some asshole criminal's face. Then, he LAUGHED. The alleged female cackled and said, "Well, I'll be damned!" and they continued to stand and stare at the picture. Get this...they stared with PRIDE. Then, they left. That was all they were there for.

Meanwhile, I sat. Waited, sat and minded my own business. I broke no rules. I made as little eye contact with people as possible, as I seem to attract freaks, and end up in a weird conversation about religion or something. Believe me, it's never a good thing.

I waited for...get this..1 1/2 hours. Yep. I had ALL OF MY SHIT READY, too. I didn't have to dig around in my purse to get anything, I didn't have to run out to the car to get anything, I was freakin' READY, unlike the jackholes I was waiting with. They evidently didn't get the memo that you should not walk at a snail's pace when people are waiting on you, and you should have YOUR SHIT TOGETHER BEFORE YOU GET THERE, DUMBASS! The memo also stated that you should wear CLOTHING to the building, not RATTY, DIRTY, GREY PAJAMAS! Have some pride, America!

I'm still waiting. A regular enough looking guy walks in, looks at the numbed faces of all of us sitting there in purgatory, and he takes his number with a defeated sigh. At first, I just thought he was sorta not attractive. Nope. He was UGLY. I understand he can't help that. That's a crapshoot. He was terribly pigeon toed to the point that it affected his gait. He had very short very curly white blond hair, he was wearing an ill fitting long sleeved shirt and black slacks. He was a mouth breather which I cannot tolerate. He sat and breathed out of his mouth the whole time. I know this because he sat RIGHT NEXT TO ME. I was giving out my most powerful, "Stay the fuck away from me, motherfucker" vibes, too. That didn't stop Mr. Mouth Breather, though. He even leaned TOWARDS me. I leaned AWAY from him. Then, he did the one thing he could do to make himself less attractive and less eligible, because I guarandamntee you he is single...he went outside and smoked. In the over 100 degree heat. Number one: It looks trashy and tacky. I don't care if you agree with me or you are a smoker. It instantly makes you look like trash. Secondly, even if you go outside, you REEK of it when you come back inside. Thank you for adding to your grossness, sir. Thirdly, I saw him throw his cigarette on the sidewalk before he came back in. Therefore, he is a LITTER BUG. Asshat.

Finally, my number was called. I walked up quickly, sat, shoved my number, and all my paperwork through the little hole in the plexiglass, and there were not even words exchanged with the exception of, "That's it." (When did that replace, 'Thank you"?) I said, "Thank you", took my stuff, got up and got out. I waited 1 1/2 hours for a 2 minute transaction. Worse than Disneyworld.

By the way, just as a postscript here, I'm going to be doing some special writing where I review products on my blog. Usually, it's beauty products. That is how the blog started, actually, but I got sidetracked. If Mama wanna get paid, Mamma gotta write for the Man.

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