WHEW!

Okay, so....school is over for the year. Thank you God. Thank you whoever. Just thank you. I swear, this was the longest, hardest year I've ever taught.

I'm exhausted. Physically, mentally and emotionally. My oldest son is graduating from high school tomorrow, and I'm not ready for that. My baby. Grown up. When did THAT happen? I can still hear his voice when he was little. I can still smell his clean baby shampoo hair as he snuggled up under my chin while I read to him. I can still see his loaded diaper clad butt wiggling side to side down the hall as I chased him to change his diaper. Now, he shaves. He can vote. He can join the military. He chooses his own horrific clothing. He has political and religious opinions. When did this shit go down? He is going to college in the fall. How the hell is that going to work? He will have to get himself up in the morning, get dressed, perform the obligatory hygienic motions, eat breakfast, take medication and get himself to class. Then, he will have to write down assignments, listen to professors, get home, study, eat, sleep and do all of the things I still have to tell him to do. He hates driving, and he is going to have to drive. I really don't see how this is going to end up well. I probably am worrying for nothing, since that is what I do, but still. He is my first baby. My second baby is going to be a sophomore in high school next year. Seriously? Again..when did THAT happen? What happened to me rocking him to sleep and singing lullabies to him and him putting his little chubby baby hand over my mouth and saying, "No sing, Mommy..." Now, he is his own person. He operates technology, he refuses to do as he is told, he is going to summer school because he has to, he wants to be the baby but not be a baby...
Now, tomorrow, at my son's graduation, we will have my mother, my father, my niece and nephew, my husband, my youngest son, my step daughter, my ex husband and his mother and it will be a huge, epic clusterfuck. I plan on filming it. There is NO way this will end up well. My parents aren't speaking, I'm barely speaking with my mother, I'm not really speaking with my brother, (he cannot make it, as he is teaching a class on a SUNDAY NIGHT...) my mother hates my ex husband, and has never met his mother. My mother does NOT hide her dislike or disdain for people at all. Not for anyone's sake. It will be horrific. I have been hoarding my Xanax in anticipation of the cataclysm that is sure to occur. I just want to watch my baby graduate and be proud. But, then he is flying back to Chicago with his father for a month or so before he gets ready for college. So, he graduates and leaves the same night. I will be a basket case. Then, the next day, we register the youngest for summer school. Right before he finishes summer school, my husband and I are supposed to be in Northern California for his 40th high school reunion. We are leaving our daughter who is almost 20 in charge of getting him to and from school for the last couple of days, then taking him to his grandmother's house. It's going to be horrible.
AND, to make matter worse, I cannot walk in 4" heels, no matter what I do. What is up with that?
And this thing needs a spell check, because I'm entirely too tired to do it, tonight.