Wednesday, August 4, 2010

The School Year Will Simply Have to be Postponed

Here's the deal: the school district, in it's infinite wisdom has decided to rip apart our school and replace some crap. I don't even know what. However, we cannot get into our classrooms and school starts in a few weeks. I don't know about other teachers, but I take a bit of time to get my room the way I want it. Plus, I have a theme, and I have all this junk laying around here waiting to take up to school, AKA: the demolition zone.

People say: "Don't worry, we'll get it done...." Oh REEEEEALLY? How exactly? We aren't allowed in our classrooms! My telepathic or transporting or whatever you call it abilities are not up to snuff at the moment.

And this all reminds me that 1. I freakin' LOVE summer since I became a teacher, and 2. I freakin' LOVE summer. Hot? Bring it. We're in Texas, so it's hot all the time, anyhow. Humid? Fine with me. It's either here or visiting relatives in Florida. Teeny bit humid there.

Which reminds me: I need to travel again. Badly. And I NEED a Birkin! I really am beginning to think this is a necessity. Which proves I'm not in my right mind. Google Hermes Birkin and see whatcha get. Yeah. I know. Insane.

Sanford has been on my case continually about the stupid cell phones. He can't operate anything that was made after the year 1345, so he cannot operate his. He never has been able to. He needs a sundial to strap around his wrist. He thinks answering machines will steal his soul. He finds things like washing new sheets and clothes and towels before they are used to be "weird". He has sideburns like it's still 1973(which it is, in his head). He can't give directions worth a damn. "Proceed approximately 469 yards east to the 200 block of Crazy Street. Turn west at the T intersection of Crazy and Lunatic Avenue. The mall is in the 600 block on the Northsouth side of the roadway." Seriously. Give me a landmark: say something like "It's behind the Jason's Deli" or something like that. Dont' give me block numbers and cardinal directions for the love of Pete. I have a GPS for that, and that damned thing tried to make us turn on the bridge that goes over the Potomac River in D.C. "Turn right...ding ding!" Well, if we had it would have been an epic mistake. Believe me. He was getting on my case about being irresponsible with money so I just wrote the word "EXPENSIVE" on a piece of paper in red crayon and gave it to him and told him to just hold it up in front of his face so I could see the word everytime he saw me. It will save him a lot of talking. It will have as much effect, too. Nutjob.

But, I'm going to see Kathy Griffin tomorrow night! Yay! Open bar after party! Woot! Sanford is my Designated Driver! This means we'll never make it home alive. The show is in Austin and we live about an hour away. We are doomed to circle the Capital of Texas for weeks or until the car runs out of gas because he won't be able to find the freeway. If this happens, send out a search party.

We'll be in the 400 block of Homicide Highway. It T intersects Crazedexcop Road.

1 comment:

moveovermarypoppins said...

good lord, woman! that is some funny stuff right there.

thanks for coming by. I'll be stopping in regularly from now on!

have fun seeing Kathy Griffin!