My Majestic Life

I got the bath mats. They are amazing. Not really. They are bath mats. They were on sale and I had a 20 dollar off coupon.

How boring is that? Pretty damned boring. Anyhow, I am supposed to start Grad school January 8. Tuition is due tomorrow. I really do need a new laptop as I can't even update things on this one because the OS is 10.6. My computer outlasted everything. I can do word documents and things, but cannot use peripherals because it's out dated. Do I NEED a new computer? It would be best. Will Wally lose his last ounce of shit if I get one? Undoubtedly. I said, "fine I won't go to grad school...screw it . It isn't worth your hounding me for two years about the money." It's 3 grand for two classes. Yeah, it's expensive. I don't HAVE to have it for my job, although I'd make a teeny bit more money if I did have it. I have no desire to go into administration in my job, so I'm not doing it for that. I wanted to do it for ME. Not good enough. Right now, he is in the other room compiling a WRITTEN (at my behest) list of what the hell we can CUT BACK ON, CUT BACK CUT BACK CUT BACK!! In order to afford it.

Now, let's go over some facts: We own our home. We have no mortgage, no rent, nothing. We own a huge, custom built home outright. We have no debt. We pay cash for our brand new cars. However, we don't do it often. My car is about 10 years old, but with less than 60,000 miles on it. It's like new. His car is a Crap Wagon. Anyhow, we've had them for awhile. We don't get new cars every couple of years. We do not qualify for any financial aid, for God's sake. We are part of that cursed 1% everyone babbles about. Well, maybe 5%. I don't know. We go to Europe. (When he isn't insane). He retired at 46 BECAUSE HE COULD. I work and make a decent living. Basically, I work for insurance, I think. Now, he is mad because he has to use his RETIREMENT MONEY TO SUPPLEMENT MY SALARY, EVEN THOUGH HE IS, IN FACT, RETIRED. JESUS MARY AND JOSEPH!!! Am I the ONLY person who sees the insanity in this???? He just presented me with a list of things off our last Discover bill that he thinks should be gotten rid of. An example: Wine. Ha! No.

Next: Eating out. No problem, I rarely do. He and the boys do, but I don't.

Netflix. Fine, I don't care. Whatever with that one.

Stuff I buy for my job. Um, no. Just random shit he found on a bill. No plan on how to CUT BACK CUT BACK CUT BACK. I'm about to lose my mind, quite literally. I am going to go now and make him make a real list. But first, I'll cancel that pricey Netflix that we so callously use while our neighbors go without food. Shit, I won't finish all seasons of "24", now. Dammit. I was on the next to last episode of season one.

I know I'm behind, but hey. Coupla things about Jack Bauer. He whispers a lot. He is unfailingly polite. He says "Thank you" to people shooting at him. He is so nice. Well, this season. I don't know how it plays out. His wife is a pain in the ass and looks like a 12 year old boy. His daughter is boring me. The senator is the Allstate guy. I keep expecting him to ask me if I'm in good hands. HIS wife is a raging bitch.

Well, I guess I'll go, now. Goodbye forever, polite Jack Bauer. I hope you stay as sweet as you are now. Stay away from that lady you work with and her boyfriend. I don't trust them. Dump the wife and daughter. That Allstate guy would make a HORRIBLE president. Unless every speech ended with "Are you in good hands?" That would be pretty awesome.