December 16, 2004

2004-12-16

Doodling boobs

So. I haven't added to this thing in a few days. Oh well. I figure nobody is waiting anxiously for it.

I graduated. Yay me! Now I can legally practice my chosen profession without getting arrested or anything. Well, once my state scores come in, that is. My kids blew air horns at the ceremony, which was highly appropriate in my opinion. It was like a professional basketball game or something. It rawked. However, it was butt-ass cold. The floor is now an ice rink for the hockey team here (which is really quite hilarious if you know where I live) and they had to put down this like puzzle piece wall board type stuff over the ice so we could have graduation there. Then, they set everything up. So, we're sitting down there on chairs with metal legs on top of ice freezing our asses off. I mean, I thought my ass would literally crack and fall OFF. Which wouldn't be a BAD thing, necessarily, but it was rather uncomfortable. Nobody knew the school song, so they had to give us papers with the words to the song on it. I guess we don't have much spirit. They (the deans and all the striped sleeve types) seemed hacked off at us.

Anyhow...so yeah. That's finished. Now it's almost Christmas. But first I have surgery tomorrow. Nothing major, totally cosmetic and voluntary and vanity-induced. Can't wait. Not allowed to post pictures of before and after, though. I'm having the boobs reduced and lifted. I figure after breastfeeding two babies for a year each, I deserve it. Small and perky, that's me.

Kitchen.Is.Closed.

They've served their purpose, now let's get them out of the way so I can wear tiny strapless things, shall we? My plastic surgeon rawks. But the entire time he talks to you, he doodles boobs on a dry erase board. I mean, the whole freakin' time. You KNOW he did that in middle school. You KNOW he got in trouble for it, too.
But I gotta tell ya, the dude doodles flawless, PERFECT freakin' boobs. No do-overs required. I bet his wife has FABULOUS boobs. Perfect, I bet.
Anyhow, with less weight up front, I'm hoping my headaches will lessen and backaches will lessen, also. I mean, after all, it can't hurt to have less boobage up front.
And it's outpatient surgery now. Who knew?!? Kick ass! Go in, get rid of boobs, go home....wham bam, thank ya Boob Doodler!

I'll update my Boob Odyssey after the surgery. Wish me Godspeed or Boobspeed or whatever....