July 3, 2007

July 03, 2007

Facts
So. Chuck Norris. I'm not a big fan. But some people are. And there are facts aplenty..I live in a military town and he is BIG with the soldiers. So here for your pleasure are some "Chuck Norris FACTS"

* Fear is not the only emotion Chuck Norris can smell. He can also detect hope, as in "I hope I don't get a roundhouse kick from Chuck Norris."

*There is endless debate about the existence of the human soul. Well it does exist, and Chuck Norris finds it delicious.

*Chuck Norris wears a live rattlesnake as a condom.

*The Bible was originally titled "Chuck Norris and Friends"

*On the set of Walker Texas Ranger Chuck Norris brought a dying lamb back to life by nuzzling it with his beard. As the onlookers gathered, the lamb sprang to life. Chuck Norris then roundhouse kicked it, killing it instantly. This was just to prove that the good Chuck giveth, and the good Chuck, he taketh away.

*Nagasaki never had a bomb dropped on it. Chuck Norris jumped out of a plane and punched the ground.

*Chuck Norris can judge a book by its cover.

*Chuck Norris is the only person to ever win a staring contest against Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder at the same time.

*Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

*When God said, "let there be light", Chuck Norris said, "say 'please'."

*Chuck Norris puts his pants on one leg at a time, just like the rest of us. The only difference is, then he kills people.

*Everybody loves Raymond. Except Chuck Norris.

*Never look a gift Chuck Norris in the mouth, because he will bite your damn eyes off.

*Guantuanamo Bay, Cuba, is the military code-word for "Chuck Norris' basement".

*When Chuck Norris works out on the Total Gym, the Total Gym feels like it's been raped.

*The square root of Chuck Norris is pain. Do not try to square Chuck Norris, the result is death.

That's all for today. I have to go watch the "Reno-911 movie" with Sanford now. My mind needs enrichment.