Tuesday, February 6, 2007

Tuesday, February 06, 2007

Cheerio, Ho!
Current mood: crappy
So Mak....we're going to England in July. I know I said we wouldn't take the kids to Europe again, but my babysitter (Mom) decided she wanted to go with us. Curses! So, it's going to be a traveling freak show. On ice, maybe. Anyhow....

Yesterday was my birthday. My father called me repeatedly. I did not pick up the phone. That makes me a heartless bitch who is going to hell, but I couldn't deal with it. I already have the cards stacked in the "hell" pile, anyhow.

So, yeah. I have a migraine behind my left eye right now that make me want to gouge out the eyeball with a blunt instrument. I might do that.

My beloved decided today to bring up a current event in the car with the kids in the car. He said, "There was a story in the paper about the shuttle astronauts...they were having a menage a trois....." Well....2 of my kids knew what that was. I slapped him as he was driving and asked him what the damned hell his problem was talking like that in front of the kids.
Our daughter said, "Wait...were they in SPACE having a menage a trois?!?!?!"
and I was hollering..."You don't need to KNOW THAT! HUSH UP!"
and my husband was saying, "Well, they weren't actually in the process...."
and then ther 3rd child figured out what we were talking about and he started hollering "OHMYGAWD!!!! DEEESGUSTINNN!!!! GROSSSSS!!!! GAAAWWWWD!!! CAN'T YOU PEOPLE HAVE SOME CONSIDERATION FOR CHILDREN!!!!!"
So, I realized my husband did not KNOW what a menage a trois was..and I said, "Wait.....what do you think a menage a trois is?" and my older two kids were saying, "Oh my God...why do WE always have these conversations?"
and my husband said, "Well...they were having a love triangle..." and I said, "Oh JESUS H. MURPHY!!! THAT ISN'T A MENAGE A TROIS!!!! A MENAGE A TROIS IS 3 PEOPLE HAVING SEX TOGETHER AT ONE TIME!"
and he said "oh." and got very quiet and all of the kids were laughing and snorting and my husband then said, "Well, they weren't doing THAT!" and then his story was totally irrelevant because he had screwed it up so badly calling it a menage a trois. Then he babbled about some female astronaut driving cross country wearing Depends so she could pee in her pants without stopping so she could beat the hell out of the other female astronaut because they both wanted the male astronaut. SO not a menage a trois.

That was my afternoon.
Currently listening:
The Essential Johnny Cash
By Johnny Cash
Release date: 12 February, 2002