Thursday,February 15, 2007 Love =Sugar

Thursday, February 15, 2007

Love = Sugar
Current mood: discontent
So...yesterday was the BIG day, yeah? Valentine's Day. YAY! WOOH! AHHHH!

That is how it was where I work, anyhow. People literally running around screaming and yelling and acting like they had dropped acid. All day. It was a nightmare. One random small child ran up to me like he was running from a fire and hollered at me: "HEY! WANNA KIT KAT?!?!?!?!?" I replied: "Not now, thanks..maybe later..." He scurried off without another word. I found it frightening.

When I attempted to get on with business as usual, the people around me looked at me with indignation and said "PUH!!!!! IT'S VALENTINE'S DAY!" I said, "Uh, yeah....?" Apparently, someone has informed our youth that Valentine's Day is a federal and religious holiday and everyone is given the right to run around as if they have no control over their own body and scream in other people's faces and eat very tiny cupcakes with overly large mounds of Crisco icing on top of them. They have a fondness for very deeply red dyed icing on this day. There is a ritual involved with the red icing. It involves smearing large amounts of it on your lips so that you look like a cheap hooker, then you show everyone and laugh uproariously at your madcap behavior. Then, when someone offers you any other snack type food, you scream "YES!!!! ME! ME! NOW! CHIPS! MORE! COOKIES! CANDY! AAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE SUGAR!!!!!!!!!!!!BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!!! HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!!!!!!!!!!! DO YOU LOVE YOUR VALENTINES? YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY!!!!!!!!" All while they have deep red icing smeared on their lips.
When you realize one very petite child has eaten 5 large cupcakes with enormous amounts of icing and numerous mini cupcakes as well as chocolate dipped fruit, chips and soda and is still going after candy with gusto....you realize people will begin puking soon. It's like a frat party, only instead of jello shots and kegs, you are just watching them get drunk on pure sugar. They keep asking you why you aren't eating. My God, the very sight of them stuffing the junk in their mouths and yelling at each other with food spewing out is enough to make you sick.
Thankfully, the day ends, people leave...and you can go home. Tomorrow will be better.

Wrong. Tomorrow...(now today) is almost as bad, because nobody took the candy away from those people. They ate it for breakfast. You end up going into the boy's restroom to investigate the unnatural sounds. You find a boy swinging on a stall door and hooting. He sees you. He jumps down, and locks himself in the stall. You wait. He ventures out. He sees you, he slides back in the stall. You call out, "You better come on out, I'm not going anywhere." He comes out. His hair is the oddest mess you've ever seen. Like a red haystack. You say to him, "What on Earth are you doing in here?" and he looks at you and says with all sincerity, "I don't remember." He probably doesn't. His eyes are glassy, his skin pale and clammy. He is coming down off a sugar high.

You give your class a test and they say that a compass has an electromagnet in it. Every single kid says that. You ask them where they intend on plugging that sucker in out in the woods when they need that compass. Blank stares. Back to the drawing board. But come ON! Electromagnet????? They KNOW better than that! And they had the NERVE to ask me for candy!
Currently listening:
Marie Antoinette
By Original Soundtrack
Release date: 10 October, 2006