May 5, 2007

May 05, 2007

Forgiveness and Bruschetta

Today I had to mend a pretty big horrible painful hole in my heart. I don't actually know if it's mended, but I allowed a bandaid to be put on it.

I'm a person who trusts only....wait...I have to think.....I trust my....no...not him....I trust my...uhhhh.nope. Ok...I got one....wait....no. Yeah..Okay....I trust my dog Macgregor...wait...scratch that..he runs off if the gate is left open..he is a traitor-ass. Lemme think here....hang on a sec.....


Okay. So I trust NOBODY. I've accepted that. I've known it for a long, long time. My husband? Not really. He knows I feel this way. Has he DONE anything to deserve that? Not.that.I.KNOW.of.

My parents? Don't even get me started.

My kids? They speaketh with forked tongues when it will benefit them. They are basically good awesome wondrous beings, though. But, one would sell me for Naruto toys and the other would sell me for....hell I don't know...some computer crap probably. They will deny this, but I know better.

Clearly, I have trust issues. So, I allowed one of the reasons for my trust issues to come and try and repair some damage today. For the good of my children, anyhow. I'm exHAUSted, now. Let me tell you, there isn't enough Xanax in the WORLD for my family issues. But, my kids are happy, this one other person is happy, my Mom claims she is "Oh so very happy because otherwise one day you (meaning me..) would regret it and be so sad when he died" (meaning the person I allowed to come and visit.) She also told me this person looked like they were about to die so I better hurry up and forgive...and that WAS A TOTAL LIE. He looks fine.

anyhow....we all went to lunch at fucking Applebee's. I hate that goddamned place. Some dude named Lamar waited on us. He was wearing sunglasses. One of my kids is a teenager and almost 6 feet tall and the other is a preteen and built like a Croatian plow horse. They clearly don't want or need children's menus. So, good ole Lamar (I shit you not, his name was Lamar..I had a stuffed monkey named Lamar when I was a kid.) gets our drink order and asks "Can they have real glasses?"
And since LAMAR was wearing sunglasses I couldn't tell who he was speaking to..because I couldn't see his freakin' EYES. I said, "Who?"
Lamar: "Them" *nods at my sons*
Me: "Real glasses as opposed to......?"
Lamar: "Huh?"
Me: "I'm not sure what you're asking...."
Lamar: "Can they have grown up cups?"
Me: "Sure! We are CELEBRATIN'!!!!"
Lamar shuffles off. My youngest kid says:

Kid: "We're celebrating, Mom? Can I have a milkshake?"
Me: "No, we're not celebrating...catch up."

Anyhow, I ordered the nasty assed bruschetta burger with pesto on it. IT IS CRAPTASTIC NASTY ASSED SHIT on BRUSCHETTA. That is my official review of that dish. I took an antacid when I got home and I am STILL burping some vile wretched non-specific spice that is not pesto.

Oh, and Lamar regaled us with a RIVETING detailed account of how he knocks his "kool-aid" over everytime he gets up off his couch because he sets his kool-aid on the floor next to the couch. And guess what? Lamar doesn't have a STEAM CLEANER...so he has to go to Wal-Mart like.....once a WEEK, y'all! *to rent a steam cleaner...* (This was his explanation for why he wanted to know if two perfectly able-bodied boys could have "real glasses"...evidently Lamar cannot have a real glass) I suggested taking off his sunglasses so he could see his kool-aid glass. Lamar laughed, said "yeahhhhhhh...." pointed at me and shuffled off. I do believe Lamar was stoned, and I was sorely tempted to ask him for some weed.

That was my day today.

Yesterday was worse. Much, much, much worse.
Currently listening:
Ultimate Waylon Jennings
By Waylon Jennings
Release date: 23 March, 2004