June 22, 2007

June 22, 2007

I want my babies

So, we got our puppy back. But my sons are still up north with the Sphincter. ( I just realized tonight that I start a substantial amount of my Blogs with: "So...") I think I start a lot of conversations that way, too. Anyhow, my boys have been gone for two weeks, now. It's not natural, I tell you! I gave birth to them, they've been with me for their entire lives, and it's not right for them to be gone from me for so long! There was a time it was the three of us (me and the two boys) alone against the world! When they were babies and toddlers, they were permanently attached to me physically, for God's sake! I wore them in slings on my body!

*sigh* I don't normally *sigh* like that. But hell....*sigh* I talk to them everyday on the phone....we discuss every little thing...they've been worried about Dixie and are very relieved that we found her....they are very disgusted that their step-sister is taking Driver's Ed....they are terrified that I've gone through their bedrooms and thrown everything away....they haven't been taken to do even 1/4 of what the Sphincter promised to take them to do...(of course). I doubt they are bathing regularly or brushing their teeth, but I know they are eating and getting as many video games as they can play. (Oh what a relief.)

The eldest tries to sound very nonchalant, and who knows? Perhaps he is quite nonchalant and carefree and would happily live with inanimate objects and strangers forever and never need me or have the need to hug me or hear me say "I love you" again. Who knows? Perhaps that is how freeing it is to be almost 15 and male. I know he'd happily never bathe again...but it has always been my job to thwart him...at least that is what he thinks.
My phone conversations with him go like this:

Me: Hi, Sweetie! (then I'll realize I sound too perky and try to tone it down...) I mean...Hey..there...Hi...Um, Hey.

Him: Uh, hey Mom...mumble mumble grumble.smack smack chomp mumble

Me: How are you? Are you doing okay?

Him: Huh? Whu? Uh...mumble mumble *distorted noises and muffled sounds*

Me: What? I couldn't hear you...I miss you! Are you having fun?

Him: What? oh, yeah. yeah.

Me: What?

Him: Huh?

Me: i said: I miss you. Are you okay?

Him: Yeah..you need to relax, mom....I mean..mumble mumble mumble smack smack

Me: Are you eating something?

Him: Huh? Smack....smack....

Me: Nevermind...what have you been doing?

Him: Nuthin'. mumble mumble....yeah...hit the right arrow..now hit the mumble mumble...no..not like that....here give it to me...what?

Me: Are you playing a video game while you're on the phone?

Him: Huh? No! I told you not to go down that hall! The thousand headed troglodyte of doom is down there! You need the flame thrower with twelve lives to defeat him!
What? No. I'm not playing a video game, why?

Me: Well, I love you...is your brother ready to talk to me now?

Him: Who? NOOOO!!!!!!! Not THAT button! I TOLD you!!!!!

Me: Dude. Put your brother on the phone.

Him: Yeah. Ok. Love ya, Mom.

Me: I love you, too.

Then the youngest gets on the phone;

Him: Hi Mommy!

Me: Hey, Baby!

Him: I think it's going to thunderstorm here, and there is a tornado warning for the two counties over from us...do you think I should go in the storm cellar?

Me: No...not if your Dad thinks it's okay. If the storm is far away, don't worry. Are you having fun?

Him: Yeah! We went to the lake, and we rode some horses and we rode go-karts and we have done lots of stuff! Granny is going to take us to the movies, too!

Me: Good. Make your brother leave the video games and go with you, though, okay?

Him: Right.

Me: So, what are you going to do tomorrow? Anything fun?

Him: hang on. i'll go ask.

Me: No! Don't go ask...wait!

to late. he puts the phone down and leaves to go ask.

he comes back a few minutes later to tell me:

Him: We're not sure what we'll do yet. When am i coming home? I miss you.


One more week. I just gotta hold out one more week. I tell ya, this ain't natural.