October 19, 2004

2004-10-19
Creepy
I wake up early for a reason. I wake up at 4:45am so that I can take a nice, long hot shower by myself with no interruptions...with nobody barging in and saying..."Mom! The dog barfed!" or..."Honey! Smell this milk..does it smell bad?"
It's my fucking ME time, OK? Ok. Easy enough. Nobody else in this house needs to be up that early.

Well, this morning I was in the shower, washing my lovely locks with my hideously expensive shampoo that nobody else is allowed to touch.
I was wallowing in the wonderful hot water. Relishing the solitude. The positive or negative ions from the water or whatever the fuck they are were PERFECTION.
My perfect moment was shattered when the bathroom door flies open unceremoniously and Sanford comes staggering in with his hands covering his eyes against the light.
All of his hirsute naked glory was quite visible even through the frosted shower stall glass as he stumbled into the wall on his way to the toilet.

"Don't FLUSH!" I hollered at him.
"Unh." he mumbled back at me.
I assumed he was just in there to take a whiz. I was wrong. Dead wrong.
He came staggering back out of the little room with the toilet into the room with the shower and sinks.
Where he proceeds to fucking THROW THE SINK FAUCET on to full throttle HOT. He then starts fucking WHISTLING THROUGH HIS FREAKIN' TEETH.
My nirvana is instantaneously GONE.
My water is cold. My happy is gone. He yukked my yum.
This makes me very unhappy.
What the FUCK? 4:50am and he was shaving! GodDAMMIT! I yelled at him to knock it off. So he did.
I assumed he left the room. I went back to my interrupted shower. It wasn't nearly as satisfying as it had been, but it was good.
But I felt ...weird. Odd. I felt...observed. I look and there is an odd blob by the bathroom door. Surely that can't be Sanford. Surely that is something I hung up on the back of the door that I just forgot about. Sanford went back into the bedroom.
yeah. I go back to my shower.
Approximately 5:00am: I look again.
The blob is still there. It has not moved. It has not changed position. So, yes. It IS indeed something I hung on the door since it is motionless. I relax a bit. I finish my shower. I open the shower stall door.
HOLY SHIT! IT WAS SANFORD STANDING THERE THE WHOLE DAMNED TIME! he was standing there motionless and naked!
the.whole.time.
I hollered "What the HELL are you doing?!?!?! That is creepy as hell!"

He calmly said "I was waiting so that I can shave."

Things I don't like: 1.Banana "flavored" things 2.the song "Careless Whispers" by Wham! 3.Any song by Lionel Ritchie (Richie?) who the fuck cares. He sucks ass. 4. When people say "I seen him". It really, really irks me. Sorry if that makes me a grammar elitist. Actually, no I am not sorry. Deal. 5. Frozen fruit that has been thawed. 6. Hair on a bar of soap. 7. Fake flowers in someone's yard. 8. My washing machine and dryer. 9. Oxyclean. 10. Buffalo wings Keepin' it real, Helen
Currently listening:
Careless Whispers: George Michael Love Songbook
By Jazzamba
Release date: 01 November, 1998