Sunday, February 11, 2007

Sunday, February 11, 2007

When the parent becomes the child
Current mood: blank
So my parents are supposedly getting divorced, right? Wrong. It depends on what day of the week you catch them on. I gave my Mom a truckload of money to retain a barracuda lawyer to make sure she is taken care of, right? Right. She's never worked, they've been married for 42 years...blah blah. So, oh fuck it. It's so fucking depressing it is too depressing to type. Yesterday, she put her wedding rings back on. I said, "What the hell?" and she said, "Well, I like them. Plus, you helped pick THIS one out, remember?" and I said, "Puh! Yeah! I was like 16! Dad took me with him to help him pick it out! So what?" And she just smiled like a demented person.

So, she claims his retirement place called her and said "I HOPE you aren't getting divorced, because if you do, you won't get as much money every month from us..."

How considerate of their staff psychic, huh? What the hell?!?!?!? I give up. I totally wash my hands, feet and all genital areas of this whole mess. My brother has to deal with it daily because she lives with him and his two kids who she helps take care of. But I give up.

Meanwhile, even though she is supposed to go with us to Europe in the summer, I know she'll wait till the last second and decide she can't.

I have gas.

The kind you can't fart out. It just sits there and hurts.

Dude! Anna Nicole Smith died! I was flabbergasted! And what was worse was that I was amazed that I was flabbergasted! Why do I care?

I mean, I was thinking about it and wondering and speculating...and then it hit me...I'm pathetic. I care about what happened to Anna Nicole Smith! We were talking about it at work, and this older man who is very courtly and gentlemanly claimed he didn't know who she was. We all said, 'yeah right,' and I threw up my arms and baby talk whispered, "Want mah bahhhhdy????Trimspa, Baby!!!" and he goes.."OH!!!!!! Her! She died?" and we all said, "Yes! Her!" and he said, 'Oh! What a shame!" and he walked off. Then it got really quiet because we all realized what I'd just done. The really awful thing was.....it didn't surprise anyone. Not even the nice gentleman. There's not much you can really say after a person throws their arms up in the air and says "Want my body, Trimspa Baby". Really. Take it from me. At least not in a work environment where everyone is supposed to be dignified and all that.

I'm doomed.
Currently reading:
The First Princess of Wales: A Novel
By Karen Harper
Release date: 26 December, 2006